i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize