theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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