turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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