I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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