It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
