i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
