Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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