This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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