just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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