forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
