spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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