if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
