I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
