I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
