Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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