I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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