what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
