I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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