if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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