she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
