mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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