Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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