it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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