I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
