3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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