i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
