Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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