All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize