i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
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She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
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I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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