just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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