WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
