people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize