I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
