During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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