we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
