that's an acceptable place to lick
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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