I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
