Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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