Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
