my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
porn star boner night. come get it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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