I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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