Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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