He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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