The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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