there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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