I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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