yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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