How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
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How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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