Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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