all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
