Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize