Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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