i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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