I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
