dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
