I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
