My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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