youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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