ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
