32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
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ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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