dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
